Patrikas and poojas

As I grow older I realise I need to sort my views on my religion. No fence sitting here.. no hemming and hawing and no 'let me cross the bridge when I come to it.' Especially on the oft chance that I do have a kid, I, at least, should be able to convincingly defend my choice. As I set about deciding what I think about the various rituals that mum has made me do.. for various reasons I wonder if I protested, even then, only out of habit?

Sometimes its fashionable to rebel, to keep telling your parents that yes am doing it for you and of course I don't believe in it. It always changes along the way. Sometimes suitnig your argument and sometimes contradicting it. But there is always a small incident that triggers it.

Various workplaces later I realise that religion can permeate into office spaces as well (I actually thought it would not) and its not a nice feeling. The more I see the divide increasing the more my mind keeps going back to one small conversation that considerably changed how I approached basic worship rituals.

Some years ago, when my mother decided that now its time to find my daughter a groom, she went along with my horoscope. In context, horoscopes are big for Hindus in India for match making and arranged marriages. So well. Of course no body openly says here that no we cannot marry your daughter to our son because we just dont like her so convoluted past life sins are detected in this little book or the 'patrika' and the girl is said goodbye to. When three sets of parents said the same, my mum started to worry. What were these sins plaguing me after all?

Consultations with all kinds of astrologists and we were on our way, with family, to a temple on the outskirts of Nasik called Trimbakeshwar. To conduct a pooja to absolve the family and me and my sister especially. It was a with a heavy heart that we drove on those roads, as a tragedy had struck in the family and we weren't really upto it.

This pooja, to rid me off my past life sins, was to be held in the wee hours of the morning and lots of things about it that were irritating me by the minute.. common bathrooms.. weird looks pandits.. well the list is endless. It was mercifully brief and not as bad as I had imagined. Contrary to what I had earlier thought, most were non Maharashtrian families (I went with the assumption that only Maharashtrian families go berserk) and the instructions happened in Marathi, Hindi and even English.

So once the pooja was completed, we got up to go home. But the main pandit asked us to sit down. He just wanted to talk to us some. He asked each of us what we thought this pooja would do for us. After listening to a variety of answers he told us what we already knew. That this pooja would not really do much. Its just for the sake of faith and faith can indeed make a lot of difference. But the pooja would not make your ills go away, would not make your boss turn a leaf or would not pass you. But we knew that already, didn't we?

He emphasied how it would do us any good if we went back and stopped doing what we were doing. No good if you stop working hard and that one pooja done somewhere would not quite help. And he went on to talk about how the various aspects of worship get mixed up and become like blanket guarantees.

I was intrigued. Some more questions later (cant help a journalist's habit of asking questions) he mentioned how twice a year he held lectures on the common ground between science and religion. Though having been brought up here with his entire family doing the same stuff, he was an open minded man who, I thought, was desperately needed in cities. Cities where religion was always disguised as something sinister or something elite (depending on where you looking at it from).

Its not rocket science but then we somehow operate on the dictum that though we know we won't practice. Its always easier to blame someone else for your misfortune, bad luck or even bad decision. Work hard. Do your stuff. And know that you will get your due.

And now for me rituals have become something that gives you comfort, reminds you of the good things you have and remember that god(not in title case) can be flexible.