The mystery of meetings

I need someone to explain to me why meetings are held and do they ACTUALLY solve anything. Been here for more than two years now and not one meeting that I have attended has actually provided a solution to the problem on the so-called agendas . So how does one then spend those hours after hours sitting in a freezing conference room?

Edit meets used to be more interesting because at the story list changed every day and you actually had to occassionaly fight to get heard. Here it is almost as though you fight so that people don't look too closely and what you saying, eh?

It can be painful and long and usually with very little take home value. There are far too many opinions and egos crammed into one room to make one decision, let along mutliple, related matters.

Since we spend so many working hours in them, I have some suggestions and in they go into my company's suggestion box -

• Give people rough paper to officially doodle so that margins of notepads and table surfaces remain un-defaced.
• Let passive participants (who are not presenting or giving responses) go into the human version of a screen saver!
• Brings in interesting mocktails (even cocktails, if you can take that chance) instead of bad tea and excuses for coffee.
• Comfy chairs (a must)
• Don't make agendas and draw chits from lots on what is to be discussed (anyway agendas are not followed).
• No more than two meetings a week. This must be followed strictly so that everyone gets a chance to enjoy the food and the ambience.
• On the oft chance that a decision does get made and involves more than two people to carry it through, it should be promptly forgotten, because that is anyway what happens.

And dont even get me started on conference calls....